All posts tagged: relationships

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Kill the Dream.

Once upon a time there was a girl who would grow up to be a woman, a wife, a mother. She would live in a beautiful house on a lake. Flowers everywhere. Sunshiney days. She would stay at home to raise her sweet kids with their good manners in their perfectly cute outfits, their hair always in place.  She would probably run the PTA.  Her husband would come home from his successful job every night to a delightful house smelling of home cooked meals. The refrigerator would always be stocked with healthy and delicious foods.  She would create a family buzzing with love, energy, fun, smiles. There would be art projects and cuddling. Her kids would be well-behaved and adore her.  Her husband would cherish her because she was loving and kind and sexy. every day.  She would treasure her family in return because they made her happy and fulfilled….ever after. Record scatch. LOUD GIGANTIC record scratch. Stop. Halt. Grow. Up. I swear it’s true. I know…it’s embarrassing.  However, I am that girl who had …

Focusing on the Light

Beauty in the Shadows

Again, I’m so remiss with writing.   I have mountains of words and feelings inside my brain and heart…but I haven’t allowed myself to unleash them out into the world.  It seems kind of dangerous…and also tiring. A few things you should know. Going through a divorce is fucking hard. It’s interesting. It’s enlightening. It’s painful. Literally, your insides hurt.  They hurt like someone is using your innards as one of those balls that you squeeze in the palm of your hand to relieve stress.  My heart and stomach and chest and throat feel like that stress ball…..all squeezy and beat up.  It also feels like the world is using your soul as a bouncing ball….over and over hitting the pavement.  Each new hurdle..conundrum…judgment…just another smackdown against the cold hard cement…then bouncing up again. It’s the law of gravity. You’ll never understand what it feels like to go through a divorce…until you do.  Period…….just like one never understands the intensity and heartache of being a parent or experiencing the death of a loved one…until they …