All posts tagged: gratitude

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Kill the Dream.

Once upon a time there was a girl who would grow up to be a woman, a wife, a mother. She would live in a beautiful house on a lake. Flowers everywhere. Sunshiney days. She would stay at home to raise her sweet kids with their good manners in their perfectly cute outfits, their hair always in place.  She would probably run the PTA.  Her husband would come home from his successful job every night to a delightful house smelling of home cooked meals. The refrigerator would always be stocked with healthy and delicious foods.  She would create a family buzzing with love, energy, fun, smiles. There would be art projects and cuddling. Her kids would be well-behaved and adore her.  Her husband would cherish her because she was loving and kind and sexy. every day.  She would treasure her family in return because they made her happy and fulfilled….ever after. Record scatch. LOUD GIGANTIC record scratch. Stop. Halt. Grow. Up. I swear it’s true. I know…it’s embarrassing.  However, I am that girl who had …

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Hold On

The other day I had dinner with some of my dearest friends.  It was the usual for us….wine, salad, whipped garlic and arabic bread, a healthy marinara dish.  We spoke of  jobs, relationships, diets.  Three of us got right into our usual analysis, the complexities of masculine versus feminine and the road to emasculation.  The other one of us who happens to embody  masculine made fun of us, playfully insulting our insight. We bitched a little, ate a little,  laughed a little, drank a little, reflected a little. Yes..it was an ordinary night of our usual loveliness. and then….. we shaved our friend’s head. Breast cancer. Aggressive. Chemotherapy. Hair falling out. My dear friend took off her hat, exposing her patchy head. We marveled at her beauty..still present, even without her usual thick shiny head of hair.   We pulled a stool into the bathroom.  Our “masculine” friend decided to be the shaver. (We let her as we didn’t want her to feel emasculated).  She lathered her head up and began, carefully, softly, lovingly shaving …

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Uncrushed

I haven’t written in so long.   The intensity and drama and movie of my life has been filled with so much of everything..there was just too much to feel…and nothing to say. Today I am ready to say this. I am starting over. from scratch.  as a single mother. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself. It’s scary and difficult for a girl with a chaotic mind. yet it’s also liberating and exciting to be able to create a whole new life with different choices based on the experiences that have led me to this place in time. If right now was five years ago…things would be easier.  Our place in the world back then, just like everyone else’s was more secure. Jobs were easier to come by…and our finances ……existed. But it’s not five years ago. It’s now. 2011. There have been layoffs and downturns and moves and mistakes. We were once an upwardly mobile family committed to building our future, doing all the right things, dreaming bright dreams…. and NOW.. Never mind the …

Inspiration India Arie

Yesterday was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.  and that is an understatement. Today is a new day. and the universe wrapped its loving arms around me on this Monday morning.  It gave me some sunshine and then it gave my heart an itinerary for the day when I turned on the radio.  The first song. I accepted this gift today with much gratitude. and continued on this path filling up my mind and soul and heart with more inspiration from India Arie. So if you happen to be going through some blah-ness too….. and lastly…….. Pay attention to the signs that are dropped into your day from the universe.  If you’re reading this… you probably needed it too. xo