Kill the Dream.

Once upon a time there was a girl who would grow up to be a woman, a wife, a mother. She would live in a beautiful house on a lake. Flowers everywhere. Sunshiney days. She would stay at home to raise her sweet kids with their good manners in their perfectly cute outfits, their hair always in place.  She would probably run the PTA.  Her husband would come home from his successful job every night to a delightful house smelling of home cooked meals. The refrigerator would always be stocked with healthy and delicious foods.  She would create a family buzzing with love, energy, fun, smiles. There would be art projects and cuddling. Her kids would be well-behaved and adore her.  Her husband would cherish her because she was loving and kind and sexy. every day.  She would treasure her family in return because they made her happy and fulfilled….ever after.

Record scatch. LOUD GIGANTIC record scratch. Stop. Halt. Grow. Up.

I swear it’s true. I know…it’s embarrassing.  However, I am that girl who had the dream in her head…that hazy glowy cloudy vision that sits somewhere in the back of your brain as a guide to how your future will be.

Once in a while in the middle of a regular day, which, by the way, almost never includes a stocked fridge, I will be struck by the thought.  I’m divorced. WHAT!?  There must be some mistake. To be in that category is completely outside of my vision.   I try to place myself there and it feels humorous.  My mental picture of what “divorced” looked like was a group of men and women who smoked and went to bars and let their kids do whatever they wanted.  They were the people who could never really get it together.  They were not me. Definitely not me.  Please don’t judge me on my judgment.  I promise that I never consciously opined about divorcees.  It was just a stereotype unconsciously floating around in my brain that I now happen to be able to conjure up as I find myself puzzled at my position in the world.

When I disengage from my tortured mind and preconceived ideas, and step back into reality, I reflect on my situation in a different way.  Here I am. Kinda brazen. I am excited about my possibilities, grateful for the lessons I’ve learned, happy about my evolution. Proud. Sometimes i can even feel a bit over-proud.  Something like a Divorced Superiority Complex.  Feeling sorry for the ones that are lacking passion and connection in their marriages. The ones who are settling.  What I noticed is that the only time divorce really really really really hurts is when the dream of my life as it was supposed to be flashes through my body and spears my heart.

I was discussing how life was “supposed to be” with my sister one day as sisters do.  She told me how she had recently faced this head on.  She had written in her journal about everything that she ever thought she wanted, wished, and fancied her grown up life to be.  She then analyzed which were unrealistic expectations and decided to kill them off.  She had a mental funeral for every single vision of sugar plums.   She immediately felt happier and lighter to be free from the fairy tale trance. Brilliance!

The truth about my life right now is that it is completely different than I imagined.  I rent a tiny house and my backyard always seems to look trashy.  I don’t like to cook no matter how hard I wish I did. I can barely make it to the grocery store.  After being a stay-at-home mom, it’s now difficult to find a job to support myself.  I’m not in the PTA. In fact, I barely check homework. My kids aren’t always polite and their outfits aren’t what I had in mind.  Also, as it turns out, I’m not sexy every day.

However, as I sit and breathe in my now, I can see that I’m lucky and that the life that I have is amazing exactly as it is.  My daughters are imperfect and I love their pluckiness.  From time to time, they say things that make me know they admire me.   Their spirits are in place.  My house is adorable and easier to maintain in its tininess.  There are messy art projects on the table.  I am in love with a man who lives too far away…but he adores me and is right for me and is happy to challenge me and grow with me. I laugh every single day. even on the days that I cry. I am surrounded by friends who get me out of my house. They send me love texts and believe in me on days that I don’t believe in myself.

When I decided to kill “the dream”, I found that my life is pretty dreamy.

Journal PromptWhat dreams are you holding on to that may be holding you back?  How is your reality dreamy?

Want from your Soul

***It’s been a year since I’ve updated my blog. I’m not going to explain. Here I am again.

THIS IS WHAT I WANT

All I want is to live in a cozy little charming darling of a house. Nothing big and fancy I tell you! I want to walk in the sunshine. everday. but I will settle for ALMOST every day.   I want to ride my bike in the wind. The warm wind. I want to wear sundresses and boots and fancy sparkly thingies in my hair. I want to do yoga and breathe in the goodness of each day.  I want to eat popsicles and write in my journal. I want to live in the light. I want to glow with goodness. Be inspired. Love my truth. I want to pay my bills by candlelight with a carefree soul. I want to cook while listening to music and drinking wine. I want to wake up early. and like it. I want to take photographs just after dawn. I want to share a sunrise on a beach with a special someone. I want a pure heart and a fresh mimosa. I want to trust my instincts. I want to be in touch with my soul. I want lots of nature. a vibrant downtown. a piece of beach. I want peace. Within. and out. I want a GRITTY life with texture and meaning. I want to bask in the sunshine. I want to gaze at the clouds. I want romance and sex. both raw and rich. I want a manicured lawn with a touch of wildflower. I want a garden gate. I want simplicity, beauty, art and books. I want to raise freethinking daughters and bask quietly in their lives as they reach forward to their own destinations while I let go of mine. and just…be free.

Hey you guys! Do you know what you want? What speaks to your soul? The first step towards a happy life is knowing what exactly makes you happy.  Recognize what lights you up…aim to experience more of it…and savor each moment.

The Energy of Being Real

Following is an excerpt from a daily book I’ve been reading this year; The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo.  It is filled with rich and poetic words, ideas, and thoughts to encourage having the life you want by being present to the life you have.  This particular excerpt struck me and I had to share, as I’m constantly on a quest toward self-actualization, authenticity being top priority.  These words make me draw back and relax with the realization that we can stop pushing so hard and just BE REAL.

“”Mana” is a term originally used in Polynesian and Melanesian cultures to describe an extraordinary power or force residing in a person or an object, a sort of spiritual electricity that charges anyone who touches it. Carl Jung later defined the term as “the unconscious influence of one being on another.”

What Jung speaks to is the fact that the energy of being real has more power than outright persuasion, debate, or force of will.  He suggests that being who we are always releases an extraordinary power that, without intent or design, affects the people who come in contact with such realness.

The beautiful and simple truth of this can be seen in looking at the sun.  The sun, without intent or will or plan or sense of principle, just shines, thoroughly and constantly.  By being itself, the sun warms with its light, never withholding or warming only certain things of the Earth. Rather, the sun emanates in all directions all the time, and things grow.  In the same way, when we are authentic, expressing our warmth and light in all directions, we cause things around us to grow.  When our souls like little suns express the light of who we are, we emanate what Jesus called love and what Buddha called compassion, and the roots of community lengthen.

In this way, without any intent to shape others, we simply have to be authentic, and a sense of mana, of spiritual light and warmth, will emanate from our very souls, causing others to grow – not toward us, but toward the light that moves through us.  In this way, by being who we are, we not only experience life in all its vitality, but, quite innocently and without design, we help others be more thoroughly themselves.  In being real, in staying devoted to this energy of realness, we help each other grow toward the one vital light.”

Beauty in the Shadows

Again, I’m so remiss with writing.   I have mountains of words and feelings inside my brain and heart…but I haven’t allowed myself to unleash them out into the world.  It seems kind of dangerous…and also tiring.

A few things you should know.

Going through a divorce is fucking hard. It’s interesting. It’s enlightening. It’s painful. Literally, your insides hurt.  They hurt like someone is using your innards as one of those balls that you squeeze in the palm of your hand to relieve stress.  My heart and stomach and chest and throat feel like that stress ball…..all squeezy and beat up.  It also feels like the world is using your soul as a bouncing ball….over and over hitting the pavement.  Each new hurdle..conundrum…judgment…just another smackdown against the cold hard cement…then bouncing up again. It’s the law of gravity.

You’ll never understand what it feels like to go through a divorce…until you do.  Period…….just like one never understands the intensity and heartache of being a parent or experiencing the death of a loved one…until they feel it entirely and completely through their own experience.

You won’t understand unless/until you are going through a divorce yourself…….   the strength you need to wake up every day and be there for your kids as only half of the team that used to be, protect them from the pain, wonder if your daily decisions are enough, feeling that you were the first person in the world to break their hearts…..all the while putting on a brave face, taking deep breaths, hiding your tears, swallowing the lump in your throat.  You think of your wonderful plans and intentions when you brought these babies into the world…and how you could never have predicted something like this.  However, things change. Being a grownup sometimes doesn’t make sense.   It’s tiring. all this.

You wouldn’t understand unless you’ve been through a divorce what it feels like to experience “support” which is really sugarcoated opinion, unwanted advice and judgment.  A. WHOLE. LOT. OF. JUDGMENT. People like to tell you what you should be doing and shouldn’t be doing and how long to wait to do this or that. or sometimes they like to NOT tell you…but what they are not saying combined with their body language and the not-so-subtle hinting, goes a long way to telling you everything. and it’s hurtful.

You might not understand how it feels to be moving onward and forward with different plans,  relationships and romance….and excited about your new beginnings….when your friends and family haven’t caught up to you yet. and some of them are too concerned with the rules written out by “experts” about these kinds of things rather than putting their arm around your shoulder and just accompanying you on the path that you’ve chosen….the one that makes you abundantly happy.

You’ll never grasp the magnitude of emotions involved in a divorce….. how one can feel the saddest they’ve ever felt in their whole entire life….. but also be verging on the happiest…..how one can be on the shakiest of grounds…scariest of places…..but feel rock solid in their core.….broken open to expose light and evolution within.

You won’t understand unless you have been through a divorce that you are learning about yourself in a way that wasn’t available to you before…when you were caught up in rote, roles, familiarity, and societal expectations.  You have reached a breaking point that allows you to challenge yourself, your history, your beliefs, and everyone else around you.  You might not understand that going through a divorce allows seeing others for who they really are and evaluating whether they are worth keeping in your life as well…… divorce begets wanting to divorce all the people in your life who aren’t raising you up.

You might not get it…… how excruciatingly lucky you are that your life plans have shattered like the broken glass of a large mirror…falling to the floor, sharp and hurtful.  As  you start to put the pieces back together…you see how clear and beautiful the damage is as the light reflects back your own beauty, sparkling in a way that wouldn’t be the same if it was kept intact, unremarkable.

As I spend time alone, as I start a new relationship, as I go out with my friends, as I spend time with my daughters, as I facilitate workshops for girls, as I travel and party and love and hate and act wild and crazy, as i pose for photos, as i laugh and smile, as I retreat, as I pull away from my friends, as I cry, as I struggle for financial stability, as I plan a new career path, as I do all of these things…. I am just me. Feeling my feelings. Being sad. Being happy.  Experiencing the process. Learning my lessons. Challenging my belief system. Changing. Growing. Knowing that the universe has brought me to this place in order to expand my heart and soul and watch me develop and offer my unique gifts to my daughters, my friends, my family, my lover, my world, myself.

I’m certainly not trying to pretend that divorce is wonderful..and I don’t want to give the impression that it’s the worst thing in the world.  Divorce is just everything. It is letting go and holding on… for dear life. It is Endings and Beginnings. All at one time. Magnified and electrified. It does not require a celebration, nor does it require a pity party.  It only requires strength, perseverance, hope, love, and true friendship.

You would have to have been through a divorce to truly and really understand.

You will find beauty in the shadows as you focus on the light.

YOU WILL FIND BEAUTY IN THE SHADOWS AS YOU FOCUS ON THE LIGHT.

A Nun, A Hooker, and Me

Isn’t it amazing??!! We have this one life…this one very life that we’re living. The power that we have over this one life is really quite extraordinary.  We can mold our life..this one life….and change it at any step of the way.  We have the power and the authority to make choices to completely change our life and its direction.

I was just thinking…I could very well decide to become a nun right now if I so desired.  and my life would then completely change… and my journey..my path would be so entirely different…..habits and a whole new set of sisters…

I could decide to become a hooker even. I could! I could direct myself to go down the hooker path with drugs, and darkness, and danger.  Yep. As I’m the artist of my own life…I can mold it into whatever I choose.

But then…. could I really do that?  Would that person be me still? The me that fills up my insides?   It seems like my soul would have to resonate with the choices that I make in order to move down any path.  There must be this one soul…yes of course….but a soul that likes what it likes and knows who it is and says yes when the body does things it approves of …..the soul says yes this makes me happy. Yes you are on the right track. Yes keep pushing forward in this direction because it’s where we need to go..to learn…to teach…to make a difference…and push past.

And then there’s synchronicity:  “an apparently meaningful coincidence in time of two or more similar or identical events that are causally unrelated”.

The universe seems to always butt in at the right times when your soul is going in the wrong direction. For example, I bet your bottom dollars that if I tried to become a nun, I would go through nun college or whatever it is that you do to become a nun..and the teacher would just so happen to be a hot priest questioning his own path…and he would just so happen to be the man of my dreams and we would run away together throwing our habit and collar behind us.  I’m picturing us running toward a sunset. Yep. I am..

And then if I decided to go the hooker route….high-class of course. I bet I would be on my way to my very first appointment and I would be wearing those clear uber high hooker shoes…and I would fall and break my neck. Then I would probably be rushed to the hospital where I would reside for a few weeks or months or however long it takes to heal a broken neck and I would talk to my favorite nurse every day who would tell me that I have a very powerful story to tell and that I should write a book…and she would just so happen to be best friends with a publisher who was very interested to hear my story.  and then I would be famous. The would-be hooker that broke her neck because it was written in the stars for her to be a famous author. Yepppp…..

and what was my point anyways?

We can mold our life like artists using clay to create change. and then the universe will butt in and sweet synchronicity will take you to where you are meant to go.

The end.

Favorite Wakeup Call

AwakenThe Awakening by Sonny Caroll

There comes a time in your life when you finally get it… When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out- ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new perspective. This is your awakening.

You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something, or someone, to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren’t always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of “happily ever after ” must begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

So you begin making your way through the “reality of today” rather than holding out for the “promise of tomorrow.” You realize that much of who you are, and the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a result of all the social conditioning you’ve received over the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were taught about:

­ how you should look and how much you should weigh
­ what you should wear and where you should shop
­ where you should live or what type of car you should drive
­ who you should sleep with and how you should behave
­ who you should marry and why you should stay
­ the importance of having children or what you owe your family

Slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really believe in. And you begin to discard the doctrines you have outgrown, or should never have practiced to begin with.

You accept the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are… and that’s OK… they are entitled to their own views and opinions. And, you come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a “perfect 10″ Or a perfect human being for that matter. So you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. And you take a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others. Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.

And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” hungry for your next fix, a new dress, another pair of shoes or looks of approval and admiration from family, friends or even strangers who pass by. Then you discover that it is truly in giving that we receive and that the joy and abundance you seek grows out of the giving. And you recognize the importance of “creating” & “contributing” rather than “obtaining ” & “accumulating.”

And you give thanks for the simple things you’ve been blessed with; things that millions of people upon the face of the earth can only dream about a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed and the freedom to pursue your own dreams.

And then you begin to love and to care for yourself. You stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors including participating in dysfunctional relationships. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and exercising. And because you’ve learned that fatigue drains the spirit and creates doubt and fear, you give yourself permission to rest. And just as food is fuel for the body, laughter is fuel for the spirit and so you make it a point to create time for play.

Then you learn about love and relationships, how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. And you allow only the hands of a lover who truly loves and respects you to glorify you with his touch. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say, intentionally or unintentionally and that not everyone will always come through and interestingly enough, it’s not always about you. So, you stop lashing out and pointing fingers or looking to place blame for the things that were done to you or weren’t done for you. And you learn to keep your Ego in check and to acknowledge and redirect the destructive emotions it spawns; anger, jealousy and resentment.

You learn how to say I was wrong and to forgive people for their own human frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls and about the healing power of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a warm smile or a friendly gesture. And, at the same time, you eliminate any relationships that are hurtful or fail to uplift and edify you. You stop working so hard at smoothing things over and setting your needs aside. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want or expect certain things. And you learn the importance of communicating your needs with confidence and grace. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that eventually martyrs are burned at the stake. Then you learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that you don’t know all the answers, it’s not your job to save the world and that sometimes you just need to Let Go.

Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as you would want them to be, and you are careful not to project your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be, more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and relationships and that that not everyone can always love you the way you would want them to. So you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given. And suddenly you realize that it’s wrong to demand that someone live their life or sacrifice their dreams just to serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet “your ” standards and expectations. You learn that the only love worth giving and receiving is the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations. And you learn what it means to love. So you stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that “alone” does not mean “lonely” and you begin to discover the joy of spending time “with yourself” and “on yourself.” Then you discover the greatest and most fulfilling love you will ever know. Self Love. And so, it comes to pass that through understanding your heart heals; and now all new things are possible.

Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and conversations. And you stop wasting time and energy rehashing your situation with family and friends. You learn that talk doesn’t change things and that unrequited wishes can only serve to keep you trapped in the past. So, you stop lamenting over what could or should have been and you make a decision to leave the past behind. Then you begin to invest your time and energy to affect positive change. You take a personal inventory of all your strengths and weaknesses and the areas you need to improve in order to move ahead. You set your goals and map out a plan of action to see things through.

You learn that life isn’t always fair and you don’t always get what you think you deserve and you stop personalizing every loss or disappointment. You learn to accept that sometimes bad things happen to good people and that these things are not an act of God… but merely a random act of fate.

And you stop looking for guarantees because you’ve learned that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected and that whatever happens, you’ll learn to deal with it. And you learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time FEAR itself. So you learn to step right into and through your fears because to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. You learn that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophesy and you learn to go after what you want and not to squander your life living under a cloud of indecision or feelings of impending doom.

Then, YOU LEARN ABOUT MONEY… the personal power and independence it brings and the options it creates. And you recognize the necessity to create your own personal wealth. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. Then a sense of power is born of self-reliance. And you live with honor and integrity because you know that these principles are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build your life. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful opportunity and exciting possibility. Then you hang a wind chime outside your window to remind yourself what beauty there is in Simplicity.

Finally, with courage in your heart you take a stand, you TAKE a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

Sparkle

Soul SistasOkay.. so here’s the thing. I consider myself a sister goddess (read Mama Gena’s book)…….or as I like to say “story star”. I try to surround myself with other sister goddesses and other story stars. I try to live as juicy as I can. It doesn’t happen all the time…. because I also suffer from PMS. During that time, I am a total fucking bitch goddess…. But you can read about that in another post.

Women who declare themselves as story stars have the magic. Hey girls! “You’ve got to fall in love with yourselves first… and then the world will follow.” (Mama Gena)

Being authentic is about being true to who you really are and developing intimacy with others based on this  truth.  (throw sex into the mix and you have yourselves a guaranteed orgasm) I’m sorry…this is where my mind goes and I have no control over it. :)

Authenticity requires being real.  Declaring this is who I am and I’m not afraid to show you.  It also involves caring about what others have to say and taking a genuine interest.  Trying to listen with your heart and opening up your soul.  I said try. Let’s face it. This doesn’t work all the time. Some people are shut off, shut down….(or the type you wish would shut up).  When I manage to make that kind of connection, however, I revel in it. It fills my soul.  Touching someone’s life is really the essence of who we should try to be.  Anything else is kind of a waste of one’s time.

I think that’s one of the strengths of living an authentic life….. and I think it’s what makes story stars magical in any given moment. Everyone has this ability… but soooo many people live their lives on the surface…. talking about superficial things….playing a part. We all do sometimes. However, I know that when I feel a warm heart in my presence I want to showcase my own. This is what will draw people to you. Find the good in yourself as well as everyone around you…. and just sparkle.

Voracious Vixens for Vitality

“It’s your story…. make it a page-turner!” ~ Nikki Hardin (Skirt Magazine)

 

Camping for a cause (cancer) with the girls in Windsor. We fabulous women understand that props, jello shots, and nicknames can only enhance an already good time…and helps tremendously when sleeping in a tent in the pouring rain. 

We named ourselves “Voracious Vixens for Vitality”.  In other words, we were ill-tempered and quarrelsome foxy women, hungry and eager for the continuation of a meaningful or purposeful existence.  Exactly!

What more can one hope for. :) 

Fellow vixens…. who can remember our nicknames????  Please help out.Page Turner

The Naked Truth

Last year, I met up with a couple of old friends. Old,meaning I haven’t seen them in a while. They are still fresh and young as a summer’s breeze.

One of these friends is a girl who was a neighbor and a very good bud from my pre-teen years. We spent much of our childhood together. We ruled our neighborhood, our younger sisters, and all of their friends.

All the memories jumped right in my face upon seeing her again. We had a ball rehashing the loads of fun and trouble we used to cause. We looked quite innocent back in the day, but our behavior could be construed as a bit unruly.

We used to play hide-and-seek in the cornfields (Remember all the cornfields in St. Clair Beach)…….but we had our own version…. strip hide-and-seek. We ran around those cornfields naked with our friends…boys and girls…. and. we. were. 10.

Oh the days of youth gone by.

In fact, most of the memories that we both shared (with much laughter) include nakedness. Her house backed to a main road. We used to dare each other to run from the back of her house to the fence …naked. Then we would run around the entire house naked. Inappropriate, yet innocent fun.

So..there are many firsts in peoples lives. This friend and I also share a first. The very first time we saw a penis. Together. Get your minds out of the gutter. It wasn’t like that. We were probably about 10 or 11, at our bus stop in the neighborhood. There was a boy who, at the time, was somewhat of a neighborhood bully. He told us that he wanted to show us his dick. He said “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” We agreed. And he did. He whipped that penis right out without any hesitation. We saw it. We screamed. We ran all the way home like we were being chased by killers. My friend’s memory of that very first glance is that it looked like a huge python. Oh, how you know the owner of that penis would love to hear those words!

When we reconnected, this friend and I were sharing some personal stories about our lives today. She revealed herself as somewhat negligent in certain areas of responsibility. She gave me some examples with slight mortifiication. Can I just tell you how I found her lack of responsibility to be absolutely heartwarming?!

I’m so glad to know that she turned out to be who she is and always was. Someone who is wired like me… no matter how much we try to fight it. When you grow up and are immersed in a world of shoulds and duties and surrounded by people who seem to have their shit so together all the time, it feels good to reconnect with a kindred spirit…. a free spirit.

It’s not that I don’t take my responsibilities seriously…….it’s just that I tend to want to run away from it all…….I want to take it all off and run around a field naked.

I share these things because I know it’s easy to lose sight of your true self. It gets buried underneath all the responsibility and grownupishness, the mass consciousness of society. Remember who you were at 10. Discover who you are now.

Fun, laughter, adventure, trouble….. that’s who we were…. it turns out that’s who we still are…. underneath it all.

Rich Simplicity

Rich SimplicityMight I suggest picking up and moving far far away across the land to start a brand new life!

When Greg lost his job we were met with a lot of sympathy and words of condolence. Although we appreciated the gestures, we never felt the need for a pity party.  Not once.

Instead, we celebrated the possibilities.  We knew things would work out because they just ALWAYS do.  It must be written in the stars. The golden handcuffs were gone!  No longer tied to the auto industry, we could envision new dreams.   Law of Attraction.  Anyone ever heard of it?  ;)  Anyways, we were going to be starting from scratch…and we drank to the start of a new life and new options and exciting possibilities!

So here’s what I recommend:

Downsizing/Simplifying.  Losing everything makes one realize what’s really important in life…Time to re-prioritize.  Never again did I want to be stressed out about spending money because we were so tied to a mortgage payment.  Never again, did I want to live in a large house where we were tied to high electricity and gas bills just to be comfortable.  Never again did I want a yard that took up our precious time to maintain.  (Greg’s precious time I mean.)  Working to spend and acquire clearly wasn’t the right path.   With the economic downfall, I realized that I wanted to collect experiences..not stuff.

One of my favorite parts about moving and downsizing is the simplifying.  The purging of all things unnecessary.  We were moving from a 4 bedroom house with a 2 car garage and basement to a 2 bedroom townhouse with NO garage and NO basement.  Just take a moment to imagine this.  Imagine your stuff…if you can’t imagine all of my stuff.  Especially garage and basement stuff. Yuck!  We got rid of everything that wasn’t beautiful or useful and packed up the rest to fit in one big moving truck and off we went …across the land ~far far away.

So here we are..in our rented 2 bedroom townhouse  The space is moderate, but filled with our favorite things…candles, photographs, books, art, blankets. Our belongings that survived the cut.  The things we love.   My two beautiful daughters share a bedroom and that of course comes with more bickering, but we’re close and happy and mostly stress-free. We now have absolutely No room for excess.  No room to store shit that we don’t know what to do with. The space is cozy and brimming with our own special kind of energy.  This new life of less has opened up our life to more dreaming, creative expression, beautiful moments, rich experiences, and personal peace.

I highly recommend designing a “rich” life of simplicity.