All posts tagged: authenticity

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Kill the Dream.

Once upon a time there was a girl who would grow up to be a woman, a wife, a mother. She would live in a beautiful house on a lake. Flowers everywhere. Sunshiney days. She would stay at home to raise her sweet kids with their good manners in their perfectly cute outfits, their hair always in place.  She would probably run the PTA.  Her husband would come home from his successful job every night to a delightful house smelling of home cooked meals. The refrigerator would always be stocked with healthy and delicious foods.  She would create a family buzzing with love, energy, fun, smiles. There would be art projects and cuddling. Her kids would be well-behaved and adore her.  Her husband would cherish her because she was loving and kind and sexy. every day.  She would treasure her family in return because they made her happy and fulfilled….ever after. Record scatch. LOUD GIGANTIC record scratch. Stop. Halt. Grow. Up. I swear it’s true. I know…it’s embarrassing.  However, I am that girl who had …

chaming darling of a house

Want from your Soul

***It’s been a year since I’ve updated my blog. I’m not going to explain. Here I am again. THIS IS WHAT I WANT All I want is to live in a cozy little charming darling of a house. Nothing big and fancy I tell you! I want to walk in the sunshine. everday. but I will settle for ALMOST every day.   I want to ride my bike in the wind. The warm wind. I want to wear sundresses and boots and fancy sparkly thingies in my hair. I want to do yoga and breathe in the goodness of each day.  I want to eat popsicles and write in my journal. I want to live in the light. I want to glow with goodness. Be inspired. Love my truth. I want to pay my bills by candlelight with a carefree soul. I want to cook while listening to music and drinking wine. I want to wake up early. and like it. I want to take photographs just after dawn. I want to share a sunrise …

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The Energy of Being Real

Following is an excerpt from a daily book I’ve been reading this year; The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo.  It is filled with rich and poetic words, ideas, and thoughts to encourage having the life you want by being present to the life you have.  This particular excerpt struck me and I had to share, as I’m constantly on a quest toward self-actualization, authenticity being top priority.  These words make me draw back and relax with the realization that we can stop pushing so hard and just BE REAL. “”Mana” is a term originally used in Polynesian and Melanesian cultures to describe an extraordinary power or force residing in a person or an object, a sort of spiritual electricity that charges anyone who touches it. Carl Jung later defined the term as “the unconscious influence of one being on another.” What Jung speaks to is the fact that the energy of being real has more power than outright persuasion, debate, or force of will.  He suggests that being who we are always releases an …

Focusing on the Light

Beauty in the Shadows

Again, I’m so remiss with writing.   I have mountains of words and feelings inside my brain and heart…but I haven’t allowed myself to unleash them out into the world.  It seems kind of dangerous…and also tiring. A few things you should know. Going through a divorce is fucking hard. It’s interesting. It’s enlightening. It’s painful. Literally, your insides hurt.  They hurt like someone is using your innards as one of those balls that you squeeze in the palm of your hand to relieve stress.  My heart and stomach and chest and throat feel like that stress ball…..all squeezy and beat up.  It also feels like the world is using your soul as a bouncing ball….over and over hitting the pavement.  Each new hurdle..conundrum…judgment…just another smackdown against the cold hard cement…then bouncing up again. It’s the law of gravity. You’ll never understand what it feels like to go through a divorce…until you do.  Period…….just like one never understands the intensity and heartache of being a parent or experiencing the death of a loved one…until they …

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A Nun, A Hooker, and Me

Isn’t it amazing??!! We have this one life…this one very life that we’re living. The power that we have over this one life is really quite extraordinary.  We can mold our life..this one life….and change it at any step of the way.  We have the power and the authority to make choices to completely change our life and its direction. I was just thinking…I could very well decide to become a nun right now if I so desired.  and my life would then completely change… and my journey..my path would be so entirely different…..habits and a whole new set of sisters… I could decide to become a hooker even. I could! I could direct myself to go down the hooker path with drugs, and darkness, and danger.  Yep. As I’m the artist of my own life…I can mold it into whatever I choose. But then…. could I really do that?  Would that person be me still? The me that fills up my insides?   It seems like my soul would have to resonate with the …

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Favorite Wakeup Call

The Awakening by Sonny Caroll There comes a time in your life when you finally get it… When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out- ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new perspective. This is your awakening. You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something, or someone, to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren’t always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of “happily ever after ” must begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. So you begin making your way …

Soul Sistas

Sparkle

Okay.. so here’s the thing. I consider myself a sister goddess (read Mama Gena’s book)…….or as I like to say “story star”. I try to surround myself with other sister goddesses and other story stars. I try to live as juicy as I can. It doesn’t happen all the time…. because I also suffer from PMS. During that time, I am a total fucking bitch goddess…. But you can read about that in another post. Women who declare themselves as story stars have the magic. Hey girls! “You’ve got to fall in love with yourselves first… and then the world will follow.” (Mama Gena) Being authentic is about being true to who you really are and developing intimacy with others based on this  truth.  (throw sex into the mix and you have yourselves a guaranteed orgasm) I’m sorry…this is where my mind goes and I have no control over it. :) Authenticity requires being real.  Declaring this is who I am and I’m not afraid to show you.  It also involves caring about what others …