Every star needs their own dressing room…filled with boas, high heels, hats, jewelry, feathers, sparkle, glitter, color, and love……to escape into the selves they may have forgotten….. Our own space for dreaming and creating our story…to be who we wish to be which is who we are already.  Put that in your pipe and smoke it. smooch.

See my cohort ~Gypsy Rae’s real live lady of the lake dressing room below. FABULOUS!

In college, I joined a sorority.  At the time, I pledged because it was a small school and the “greek” life  had all the action…parties…fun! It was quite something to experience all the shenanigans and ridiculosity (I think I just made that word up) of the pledging experience as well as the aftermath of active sorority sisterhood.  There was bonding and sharing through our experiences of drinking, partying, and drinking some more. Somehow amidst our cheap debauchery (think Busch and Boonesfarm), we managed to perform a few good deeds in the community, we felt important as we held our chairs in the society, and took our jobs seriously.  At the time, we had rituals and songs dedicated to the lifelong connection this sisterhood offered. I thought it was cute and fun, but looking back I had no idea how important and significant that these friendships would be…how they would provide me with so much support and love as I got older and grew through life.

Cut to the summer of 1997…a few years after graduation. Some of my college girlfriends and I decided to gather ourselves for a weekend away…just girls.  We had no idea at the time that it would grow and develop into an annual event that we would look forward to all year long. Girls weekend.That first girls weekend is a story of its own….”full of memories that we can share…and some we cannot.”  I can tell you this though. My boobs were at their finest (as I had picked that weekend to stop breastfeeding), we saw a penis, and we laughed until we cried (we didn’t laugh AT the penis…we laughed WITH  it).

Over the years now, we have consistently joined together to take time out of our busy lives to relive the memories of college, and also to share our experiences of adulthood… marriage, divorce, births, deaths, and the lessons we have learned along the way.     As we get older and more in touch with who we are as individuals, we are able to share more of ourselves with each other. As our confidence has grown so has our willingness to reveal the scandals in our lives and skeletons in our closets providing us with a rich collaborative growth. We have cried together and for each other.

This past year, as well as next, each of us “Girls Weekend Chicks” are turning 40. We decided this year to celebrate in style by treating ourselves to an uber special trip to Mexico.  We wore flowers in our hair, drank mojitos on the beach, and had to be told to quiet down in our rooms at night because we were laughing so much.  Who knew that we would still be causing trouble and whooping it up twenty years after our college days. Some things just don’t change.

On the beach one day, we were having a serious and loving discussion about our individual attributes, showering each other with credit and compliments. We decided that if we combined each of our strengths we would be the Queen of Mexico. (yes okay we were drinking Dirty Monkeys, but don’t let that devalue our lovefest). We chose that warm and fuzzy moment to gather together in a circle and read a  letter that was sent to us from an older “sister” of ours with special instructions to be read on the beach.  She had graduated a few years ahead of us, and was an actual familial sister to one of us.  Her letter was touching and made us cry happy tears realizing the significance of our bond as we grow older. Mostly, it brought to light how lucky we are to have a special sisterhood providing depth, vitality, and reassurance that we are never alone in this world.

I want to share this letter of love with all of you…the special friends, cohorts, and soul sistas I’ve met along my journey.  These words are reminders about the importance of love, friendship, as well as having a healthy sense of self.  As I go through a painful period in my life right now, I’m forever grateful for sisterhood.

(see below for the letter) A special thank you to Kelly. xo

To All My Little Sisters,

Welcome to the 40 Club! This is truly a time for celebration, for we ARE the new generation of forty.  We don’t fear the milestone, we embrace all it represents.

Feel empowered by the woman these years have molded you to be.  From a daughter, sister, granddaughter, and neice, to a mother, wife, daughter-in-law, and perhaps aunt.  You are surrounded by sisters that are not members through biology, but rather by circumstance. The years have chosen these friends for you and the bonds a special sisterhood.  We are there to lift each other up, celebrate successes, mourn losses, and support one another with words, through a look, embrace, or even silent presence.

40 is a milestone like no other. Be proud of what it signifies!  You are wiser, stronger, and more cherished than ever.  You have lived long enough to survive terrible loss and learn each day is a gift.  You have been both let down and inspired by those around you.  You have realized your strengths and all you have to offer.  It took almost losing YOURSELF to realize that putting yourself first on occasion is essential NOT selfish….and you eventually got to the point you could do it without feeling guilty.  You treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated and your daughters will be the beneficiaries of this model.

May this trip be a reminder of how important it is to take time for you.  Reflect on where you have been and be excited about where you have yet to go.

From me to you, this money is for a round or two. Lift your glass high, raise your face to the warm sun or glowing moon, close your eyes and breathe in deeply.  You have arrived!

May your trip be full of memories you can share and a few you cannot!

Love and God Bless,

Kelly

There is beauty to be found…even in scary places. 

Questions are answered in the darkest of spaces.

Know what makes your heart happy.  <3

I subscribe to the philosophy that spreading inspiration and positive energy, thus having a direct influence on the quality of one’s day, is a way to practice creativity using kindness. It’s an art, contributing to the good of the world. Let’s all just start with the women that we meet along our paths, simply using the power of our words. 

Check out this simple assignment by clicking on the following link from Operation Nice.    NICE Assignment: Kind Words for Women.

I’m getting divorced. It’s every bit as hard as everyone always says. Where once I was filled with life…I am now battling fear and anxiety.  So I’ve not been able to offer much inspiration lately. When I think about writing, I get scared…scared of what will come out….Scared of feeling my feelings any more than I have to. 

There have been very bad days…days where I’m stewing in toxic feelings of hate and anger…which produces a very mean Andrea…..The kind of me that turns passion into rage and engages in viciousness. Violent eruptions..oh yes…they only feel good for a moment.  Verbalizing my intentions of casting a spell on my soon-to-be ex-husband to eternal erectile dysfunction also doesn’t relieve the awful feelings I am frought with.  This only leads to questions about my sanity.  Worry not…these days, they have pills for all of this.

When exhausted from my bout with hate, I question where these feelings could take me…so very far away from who I am… who I wish to be…  I take a deep breath and find it in me to recover the power that I know I have…..the power over my own sweet self….for I have superpowers of optimism, hope, and gratitude.  

It also helps that I really do have a magic wand.  My sweet soul sista Gypsy bought it for me as I embark on a totally new beginning….to help create a new enchanting life. This beautiful magic wand is hanging up next to my bed to remind me that I have a magical solution to any difficult problem.  The power is within me..and I believe that with all of my heart.

So..armed with my magic wand, I get back in touch with those superpowers of optimism, hope, and gratitude. I put my favorite pajamas on…sweet and sexy. I light my candles for peace and serenity.  I find my meditation music to relax my mind, body, and spirit. I spray my sheets with a beautiful scent. I get into bed with my favorite healing books.  Then I take responsibility for my part in creating the space in life where I find myself (Thank you to Louise Hay and one of my favorite books: You Can Heal Your Life)……because I know that when I nurture myself and pamper my tender heart… it will allow me to live in light and love…and that’s where the magic is.