The Power to Be
This week I decided to get off my ass. I made the choice to start fresh. start new. move forward. I had been paralyzed for some time, dealing with the grieving that comes with an ending to something you thought would last forever~ a marriage. When you’re in a marriage, you have your ideas about what is “supposed to be” ingrained in your mind, soul, and heart. Your future, while always uncertain, contains a security based on the idealism of forever. Clearly, my soul and heart needed the time and space that this paralysis offered to catch up to my head and to reality. To filter out what “could have been” and what was “supposed to be” with what “is”. I was overwhelmed with a life ahead of me that was now open to ANYTHING. ….ANYTHING I wanted…which was EVERYTHING…and EVERYTHING paralyzed me into NOTHING. and that’s where I got caught up in….doing NOTHING.
In conjunction with my week of starting new, I happened across a TREASURE at the bookstore that LEAPED and TWIRLED right into my soul. It’s called Inner Excavation by one of my favorite bloggers, Liz Lamoreux. (I found her blog via one of my favorite photographers, Vivienne McMaster whose work is also included in this book). The book is all about expression…about finding and exploring your “self” using creativity such as photography, poetry, words, and mixed media…which just so happen to be all of my very favorite things…my passions!
So I woke up on Monday, put my big girl pants on, got out into the world, dropped off applications, faxed important documents, and tackled financial lists. I was on fire! I did all these things keeping in mind that I was going to reward myself with an “Inner Excavation” self portrait photo shoot. I was going to capture me with the fresh eyes of a new day and all the possibilities before me. 
What did I see when I looked at me? I saw the beauty of a regular girl. A woman who is not perfect, but who knows what works for her….what angles, what poses, what thoughts and visions that can capture her true self in a moment, a woman who knows who she was, who she is, and who she wants to become.
Isn’t it true? We DO know what works for us. We do know deep inside in our heart and gut what is right for us…what makes our soul sing …what makes us leap and twirl. Yet, we ignore our longings and yearnings by getting caught up in codependent tendencies. We put others first, or we waste our time thinking about and judging their behavior and actions so that we don’t have to LOOK at ourselves and focus on what would make us truly happy. We ignore the deepest part of ourselves…the part that radiates our true beauty because we are probably paralyzed with fear.
One of my favorite songs is Suddenly I see by KT Tunstall. Listen to the video and use the words in her song as inspiration. Then go out and give yourself the gift of a self portrait photo shoot. Look at yourself. Your face is a map of the world. You’re a beautiful girl. Give yourself the power to be. The power to give. The power to see. We need to know that who we are inside is exactly who we should be on the outside. BEING involves BECOMING.
LOVE this post and your authenticity and your honesty and your open and brave brave heart…you go girl:D…good luck with everything.
WOW, you go girl. I fell HARD for the wrong guy (wouldn’t listen to anyone – 20 and thought I knew everything). Didn’t last more than a year but affected me for YEARS…now I’ve been on my own for over 30 years (cannot believe it’s been more than 10). Do what you want, when you want? all the time? oh yea! It is so freeing to be free to do WHATEVER – dream BIG. Do not be in a hurry – we can all see you are beautiful on the outside thanks to your wonderful photo shoot. We know that you are beautiful on the inside and perfect right now just exactly where and how you are….so explore it all – by yourself as long as YOU want… you have lots and lots of time. You are about to be amazed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Andrea – thank you so much for stopping by my blog. I hopped over to ‘meet’ you and my oh my – did your post resonate with me! I too have been recently separated and divorced. I think I may need to buy that book actually! Actually, I’m going to go back and re-read your post again – it truly was words for my soul. Thank you for being brave enough to share. From across the globe you managed to help me grow a little bit taller today
x Donna
wonderful post and wonderful pictures – it seems so easy to take and share pictures of others but when it comes to ourselves it is a different story – and it is so empowering taking the time to really look at yourself and the outside in. Thank you so much for sharing – hugs and love sent your way on your new and exciting journey!
Applause!
Thank you. You’ve openly & verbally described my last year of life. XO
I first heard KT Tunstall’s ‘Suddenly I See’ before taking my first steps participating in my 2nd Breast Cancer 3Day; uplifting & always inspirational!! I’m celebrating my 38th birthday tomorrow & moving my Sweet little ones into our new home. Life is such an amazing journey in places I hadn’t ever imagined. Smiling, strengthening & loving more than ever. I hope you & the girls are as well. Love your pic’s & the kindness with strength you give us all. Thank you for sharing your journey!! Have fun, smile & know your loved!! Life is so much fun!!
I just want to take a moment to tell you Andrea that 18 years ago I had no idea how incredibly smart, talented and completely awesome you are. You were this cute girl I saw around in college but those years, being as they are, I never got a chance to get to know you. I subscribed to your blog because I have really enjoyed reading your posts on Facebook. I have to say, for what it’s worth, you are truely inspiring.. I too have suffered some difficulties and setbacks but am only grateful for them today because they’ve helped become the person I am today and I have never been happier.
Thanks for being a bright light in this world, you are an amazing woman.
Sincerely,
Mary (Dean) Ellis