Month: November 2010

darkness

Crossing the Line but Closer to Fine

I just reread my blog from yesterday. Oh my!  It started out so well…my India Arie Inspiration-Filled Day. Apparently there is a fine line between a sunshine-loving, universe hugging, beautiful flower and a crazy ass bitch.   I crossed the line around noon. The whole mission of this blog is to share positive energy and motivate women to be empowered by their best selves, to live in light and love.  Inspiration through Freedomseeking, Dreampushing, and Truthtelling. Today I hope to inspire you with some Truthtelling: It can be incredibly, painfully, devastatingly, overwhelmingly, impossibly difficult to live in light all the time.  Like The Indigo Girls say in my favorite song ever (Closer to Fine) ~ “darkness has a hunger that’s unsatiable and lightness has a call that’s hard to hear.”  Well, yesterday the darkness swallowed my lightness whole and then shit it out.Of course I can’t tell you the whole truth and nothing but the truth because I have to protect the privacy of my life.  Oh and also you have to wait for the …

Inspiration India Arie

Yesterday was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.  and that is an understatement. Today is a new day. and the universe wrapped its loving arms around me on this Monday morning.  It gave me some sunshine and then it gave my heart an itinerary for the day when I turned on the radio.  The first song. I accepted this gift today with much gratitude. and continued on this path filling up my mind and soul and heart with more inspiration from India Arie. So if you happen to be going through some blah-ness too….. and lastly…….. Pay attention to the signs that are dropped into your day from the universe.  If you’re reading this… you probably needed it too. xo

hooker heels

A Nun, A Hooker, and Me

Isn’t it amazing??!! We have this one life…this one very life that we’re living. The power that we have over this one life is really quite extraordinary.  We can mold our life..this one life….and change it at any step of the way.  We have the power and the authority to make choices to completely change our life and its direction. I was just thinking…I could very well decide to become a nun right now if I so desired.  and my life would then completely change… and my journey..my path would be so entirely different…..habits and a whole new set of sisters… I could decide to become a hooker even. I could! I could direct myself to go down the hooker path with drugs, and darkness, and danger.  Yep. As I’m the artist of my own life…I can mold it into whatever I choose. But then…. could I really do that?  Would that person be me still? The me that fills up my insides?   It seems like my soul would have to resonate with the …

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The Power to Be

This week I decided to get off my ass.  I made the choice to start fresh. start new. move forward.  I had been paralyzed for some time, dealing with the grieving that comes with an ending to something you thought would last forever~ a marriage.  When you’re in a marriage, you have your ideas about what is “supposed to be” ingrained in your mind, soul, and heart. Your future, while always uncertain, contains a security based on the idealism of forever.  Clearly, my soul and heart needed the time and space that this paralysis offered to catch up to my head and to reality.  To filter out what “could have been” and what was “supposed to be” with what “is”.  I was overwhelmed with a life ahead of me that was now open to ANYTHING. ….ANYTHING I wanted…which was EVERYTHING…and EVERYTHING paralyzed me into NOTHING.  and that’s where I got caught up in….doing NOTHING. In conjunction with my week of starting new, I happened across a TREASURE at the bookstore that LEAPED and TWIRLED right into my soul.  It’s …

domestically_disabled

The Good Wife Guide

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, let us be grateful that it is no longer 1961. The Good Wife Guide This is an ACTUAL extract from a Home Economics textbook printed in 1961. 1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return from work. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed. 2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him.  His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. 3. Clear away the clutter.. Make one last …

Treebw

Embracing the Ebb

Today I woke up…feeling unhealthy…negative….depressed…..feeling the flow of my life and its creativity come to a halt. Slam!  Was it that my kids were home from school invading my precious territory of peace and quiet …..or the weight of needing a job..a big girl job…to make money and provide some independence…Blah. ..or simply the bloated result of the massive amounts of tequila and salt in my steady diet of margaritas as I avoid responsibility, fitness, and progress? Regardless, last week I was flowing….designing a business, creating art and completely inspired….and this week I’m EBBING.  (and No ~ I’m not PMS-ing!) So I set out to enjoy a day of depression without feeling guilty about it, as even optimists are allowed to  wallow in their own misery from time to time.   My idea was to watch a few sad movies, have a good cry, swear, not shower, steal some of my kids’ Halloween candy…and just feel sorry for myself. After my coffee, I went into my bedroom to retreat under my covers and immerse myself …